Love, Steve
by LoveKlaine
Summary: After Tony's death, Steve writes him letters telling him how he feels and how he is dealing with his life now Tony is gone.
1. Chapter 1

Tony:

I feel devastated. I don't even have words. Today you died. I watched you died. I don't know what to say or what to do, I don't even comprehend nothing at all, I don't accept the fact that you are gone. The moment I was watching you while you were dying, I felt lost. I was so happy when all the bad guys start disappearing... until I saw you. Watching you died while I was just looking from far away was the worst part. Trying not to tear me apart —although I couldn't help letting some tears run down my face— was really difficult. I saw Pepper and Peter telling you the last words you will ever hear, I watched how they tried to console you, to make you feel calm while your last minutes went by and I wanted to be the one to hold you, to comfort you, to touch you. But I didn't deserve it. No after everything we've gone through. I didn't deserve to be by your side, to be the one who assured you that everything was going to be fine, to be the last person your eyes will ever see. I didn't deserve you. Sorry I told you you were not the man who would give his life to save the others, I was wrong. But I can promise you that I never desired so much to be certain in something. I just wish it was me.

Love you,

_Steve_.

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Hi! So, this story came up to my mind the other day and I just had to write it. I'm going to upload a new chapter everyday because I've already had all the chapters written. It is not a long story, but it's my first story written in English, so, please, feel free to correct me any grammatical mistake. Anyway, I'll try my best.

Thank you so much for reading! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! So, I thought it was necessary to dedicate a letter to Natasha, but all the following ones are written to Tony. Enjoy!

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Natasha,

This is so hard to write. I don't even know what to tell you. We were never sentimental between us, but we had a really strong friendship. We knew how to cheer up one another, when to push, when to let it go, and when to say something. I would love to have you here right now. I need you so much.

Natasha, Tony died. I don't even understand how it happened; it was all really fast. You more than anyone knew how I felt about him, and everything we've gone through. I know you loved him too, he was your friend. It was impossible not to love him.

Natasha, YOU are gone too. I still can't really believe it. We didn't have the proper time to mourn you because everything happened so quickly that one minute we were really happy because the half of the world came back again, and in the next minute we were fighting against Thanos.

I just wanted you to know that I admire you, what you did is something that only a true heroine does; you gave your life to save the world. You were an authentic avenger —one of the best— and you should have never doubt about that. We were a weird family, but I love you with all my heart —as every family does— and I'm pretty sure the others love you as well. We didn't have nothing, but we found each other.

What I want the most is for you to understand that it didn't matter what you had done in the past, you were being controlled, and your true self was the heroine we all know.

Banner told me he really tried to make you come back to life, but he couldn't. I tried to comfort him, but not even a word came out of my mouth. I was so defeated for your lost. Everyone was. My heart hurts as it never did.

I hope you are doing well and that, wherever you are, you find Tony, so neither of you both is lonely.

Love you with all my heart,

_ Steve_

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Tkank you for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Tony,

Today we said goodbye to you. The flowers and the proof that you had a heart were beautiful. When I saw it, I just wanted to laugh. Of course you had a heart, the most beautiful one. You were able to forgive me, to give your life for the whole world, and to love. You cared and loved many people —I dare to say that even me, although I didn't deserve it. You should have seen the people that went to say goodbye; we were a lot. I remember that once you told me that when you were in that cave, you were afraid of dying without having someone who really loved you, and of being lonely. Well, I just wanted to let you know that wherever you are now, you are not lonely. A lot of people loves you and will never let you alone, even if that doesn't have sense right now.

While I was watching the flowers going away, I just thought about us. I regret everything. And I am not saying it now because you are not here anymore, I am really sorry since the moment everything happened. That's the reason why I sent you the letter and gave you the cell phone. I wanted you to know that I was just a call away; it didn't matter what. You weren't alone. I regret what happened as well as what didn't happen. I hate those years without being by your side, and without being capable of comfort you in your darkest times. But I am happy that Pepper was there. I wish it was me, but I just didn't deserve it.

I met your daughter. She is beautiful and exactly like you. Meeting her made me remember the times in which we made plans for our future. Now it will never be possible, but I am happy that you made it. You achieved the family you desired, even if it wasn't with me.

I wanted you to know that I will follow your piece of advice and will try to get a normal life and form a family on my own. I will travel to the past because the only person I've got to love, apart from you, was Peggy. Yesterday Bucky found me drinking, crying and trying to forget everything, although it is not possible for me to get drunk. After a long conversation, he encouraged me to go with Peggy. You know I've never felt comfortable in the modern world and —now you're gone— there is nothing stopping me this time. Bucky will be fine in the present with Sam. Now that his brain is not being manipulated, he can take care of himself. Sorry for bringing him into this letter, but he is as important as you and Peggy in my life. He was the only thing that I had from my past life in the present, and I didn't want to lose the only thing that kept me remembering that the life that I had before sleeping for 70 years was real; remembering me that I really existed. Sorry for not explaining it to you when I could, now it's too late.

I just hope that one day you can forgive me for everything. Wish me luck with this new adventure.

Love you,

_Steve._

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_Thank you for reading! :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Tony,

It has been a year since your death, and I am still trying to cope with my life. I've been living with Peggy all this time. I told her everything that happened to me and she believed me, as she always does. It's overwhelming to have someone that trusts you so much. Tony, I don't know if I'm worthy of that trust. You trusted me and I failed you, but I will try my best to not disappoint her too. We are happy together, and I've never felt so glad to follow a piece of advice. I am living a really happy life, and it's all thanks to you. Even when you are not here, you keep making me happier, and I love you for that. I miss you so much.

I've thought a lot of times about going again to the future to see how the others are doing, but I find myself incapable. I can't come back to that world in which you are not. I can't face a world without an Iron Man, without a Tony Stark. I handed my shield to Sam because I knew that once I was gone, I would never come back. I just can't think of a future where you and Natasha don't exist.

After all this time, I've realised, with the help of Peggy, that the reason why I still keep begging your pardon —even though you already gave it to me— is because I haven't forgiven myself. I'm trying, but it's really difficult to forgive me when I know I hurt one of the people I love the most. I just hope that when you said you forgave me, you really felt it.

Love you and miss you,

_Steve_

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Hi! Thank you so much for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Tony,

It has been ten years since you left. I'm still in the past, living the life I always wanted. I'm married to Peggy, and we have a child. I wish you could meet her, she is amazing. I would have loved to experience all of these with you, but I can't complain either. I love Peggy as much as I love you, and she knows and understands that a part of my heart will always be with you.

I can't put into words how much I miss you. It's been a lot of time, but I still remember everything as if it had happened yesterday. I try to draw you at least once a week to not forget you. I don't want to forget your eyes and how they shined when you were speaking about a new project. I want to remember your smile, and when it was directed towards me. I don't want to forget how it felt to touch you, to hug you, or to feel you. I want to remember everything about you. I even brought a picture of you with me when I came to the past, just in case. But being honest, I don't think I am capable of forgetting you. You are in my mind all the time, even in the insignificant moments. Sometimes I dream about you, and I wake up sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I remember that you are not here anymore and I can't even touch you. But I feel happy because I like to think that you've stolen a couple of minutes from heaven just to come and visit me. Thank you for that.

I'm in the process to forgive myself for all the things I've done. It's not easy, but I think I'm doing better every day. Or at least, I hope so.

Love you, miss you and remember you,

_Steve_


	6. Chapter 6

Tony,

I've spent the rest of my life remembering you. I usually watch the picture I brought with me for hours. I don't look the same, but I just look at you. I always try to imagine what you would look like if you were still alive, but I have to stop when, sometimes, my tears don't let me see anymore. Many times Peggy looks the picture with me and tells me what you would have looked like, in her opinion. I love those moments. It's like if the three of us were there, sharing a moment.

I won't lie. I look at the picture a lot lately because I'm starting to forget, and I don't want to forget you. Right now, I've even brought it with me to look at it just before I close my eyes. I want you to be some of the last things I see before I die, just as I couldn't be one of yours.

Sorry for my handwriting, but my hands shake a lot lately, and I am patiently waiting for my time.

I've had a happy life after I came to the past. I've felt comfortable in this world as if I fit here, I married my first love and had kids together. And I've got to meet you in my life, which was a pleasure and one of the best things that have ever happened to me. After 15 long years, more or least, I was able to forgive myself. It was a long and difficult process, but I made it and finally found the mental peace I needed.

Now I only have to wait and maybe we can finally meet again. I pray to God for your wellbeing and our next meeting.

I'm in the hospital right now, but before I'm gone, I wanted to write to you the last letter. I just hope that in another life, if that really exists, we are capable of finding each other again and have the life we always wanted, but, this time, together.

Just wait for me, because I'm coming for you.

Love you

_Steve_


	7. Chapter 7

Tony Stark,

I don't know how to start this letter, to be honest. I always saw Steve writing you letters, but I never read them, because they seemed personal.

You were always present in one or another way, but it never bothered me. Steve told me everything because he doesn't know how to lie —I think you know that— and I accepted it. I knew that he lived much more than when I met him, which made him grow in some aspects.

I needed to let you know that he did what he told you and looked at your picture one last time before he passed away. He made me promise that I will tell you that he did it, that he didn't lie to you not even once after all that happened. He was holding my hand, looking me at the eyes when he just felt very tired and told me to write to you before pulling out the picture from beneath the pillow and fell asleep. He never woke up. You were the last thing he saw.

He suffered a lot at the beginning, although he never told me how much. He also tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but I realised from his eyes that it wasn't the case. It was a long process until he was himself again, and I always tried to be as supportive as I could. I hope I made it.

I am sad that he is gone, but I hope that you were able to find again at each other in heaven, if that exists. He never stopped loving you, but I knew it from the beginning that he never would.

You should know that when Steve loves you once, he loves you forever.

Hoping you are together now,

_Peggy_

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Hi! So, this is the last letter. I tried really hard not to make any mistake, but if you notice one, feel free to correct me. That helps me to improve my writing. I hope you liked it, and thank you so much for reading. See you in another story! :)


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